The Woman’s Owncolumnist has her say on sprouts, party outfits and older mums
YOU CAN’T BEAT A GOOD OLD TRADITION
Takeaways instead of Christmas dinner? No thank you!
Traditions matter at this time of year, don’t they? After all, why would any sane person choose to have Brussels sprouts and dry-as-old-boots turkey to eat? Or, for that matter, think that ramming a stomach-busting lump of glutinous dried fruit and marzipan down your neck after a 5,000-calorie meal was a good idea?
Oh, and all while wearing a torn piece of coloured paper on your head in the shape of a way-too-small ‘crown’. See? When you put it like that, it sounds like the kind of nightmare you have when you’re trying to sleep after all the above.
But we do it. And you know what? We LOVE it. Because it’s as traditional as moaning about the weather while sipping a cuppa. But times are changing. A frankly shocking new report says that six in 10 of us would rather have a takeaway than a traditional Christmas dinner. I mean, what? Have they no respect? How can you even contemplate watching the King’s Speech while stuffing down a bargain bucket of fried chicken?
Evidently the favourite substitute for turkey and all the trimmings is a Chinese takeaway (favoured by one in five), closely followed by Indian and fish and chips.
Sorry, but I’m not having it. No matter how many miserable kid years Mum made me sit at the Christmas dinner table, staring mournfully at cremated round green things that were meant to be vegetables but more closely resembled (and tasted like!) Kermit’s nether regions, I wouldn’t swap the tradition of torture by sprout for a chicken tikka masala, for all the mince pies in the world.
Thankfully I’m not alone, because 41% of us are still passionate about traditional Christmas grub. Roast potatoes are our favourite component, with pigs in blankets and stuffing cited as being essential festive foods.
And I’m sorry, but if you aren’t regarding Quality Street and eggnog as acceptable breakfast fare by this stage of December, you really need to check your pulse. Just not your blood pressure, though, OK?
Because no one ever pretends that a traditional British Christmas is good for your heart or, indeed, your wallet.
It’s not just our traditional food that is being trifled (geddit?) with, though, is it? Can we talk Christmas cards?
Now, either all my friends and family suddenly hate me, or there’s something insidious going on. Just a few years ago,
