Nicola Vanlint is an accredited member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and founder of the Wellness Rooms –a small group therapists and practitioners. To find out more about counselling visit bacp.co.uk or search Greenwich Wellness Rooms.
Office odd bod
Q My supervisor at work is really mean to me, but lovely to everyone else. I feel like I’m pushed aside but I’m too anxious to say anything. Do I carry on like nothing has happened?
A If you carry on like nothing has happened, you run the risk of increased stress and a sense of isolation.
To build your confidence, start by creating a record of instances where you felt mistreated. Note how this has affected you emotionally.
Feeling anxious can lead to forgetfulness, so use your notes to assist you with any difficult conversations.
If you feel like you can talk to them, choose a calm moment to express your concerns to your supervisor. Use ‘I’ statements to avoid sounding accusatory.
Consider talking to your HR team for guidance, too.
It’s crucial to prioritise your mental health.
At high stakes…
Q I’m desperate to ask for a pay rise but I don’t know how to approach the subject. I feel like I’m being annoying. How can I do this?
A Being assertive involves expressing your thoughts and needs confidently while respecting others. Being annoying is persistent behaviours that bother or irritate others.
I question why you feel like you’re being annoying? It’s important to recognise your worth.
When approaching the topic, do so with confidence. Be specific about your achievements and the value you bring to the company. Outline any additional responsibilities or projects you’ve completed and go over your talking points beforehand to boost confidence.
Frame your request positively – instead of saying you ‘need’ a raise, convey that your contributions merit a salary adjustment. Lis
