Patient casebook
I unexpectedly had to take on an extra load in my relationship...
Hayley Jennings, 46, from Redhill, Surrey
Boiling the kettle, I poured two fresh cuppas.
One for me, and one for my husband Vince, 52.
‘Here you go,’ I said, passing over his brew.
Then I started making dinner, put on a laundry load and wiped the kitchen surfaces.
For me, it was just another day of completing all our usual household chores.
All while Vince relaxed on the sofa, glued to the telly.
But he wasn’t being lazy, lounging around. Vince physically couldn’t help me. He was paralysed.
Yet for us, it never used to be this way.
Working as a scaffolder, Vince always used to be active.
Only in August 2018, he took his bike to work. On the way home, he was involved in a sudden accident.
To this day, we’re still not sure how it happened – Vince doesn’t remember it.
At St George’s Hospital in London, Vince was diagnosed with a high–level spinal cord injury and experienced tetraplegia – paralysis in all four of his limbs.
He needed a stoma bag, as his bowels were paralysed, too.
That’s it, I thought. He’s never going to walk again.
After having spinal surgery and 17 weeks of physio at the Royal Orthopaedic Hospital in Birmingham, Vince could move his limbs slightly.
He could manage short distances with a walking frame.
But Vince’s life would never be the same – and neither would mine.
At first, it was a huge adjustment for us.
One night, Vince frantically woke me up – his stoma bag had detached and exploded all over the bed.
‘Let’s get this cleaned up,’ I told him.
Helping Vince into his shower seat, I changed our sheets and washed the messy set, too.
Although it was humiliating for him, I wanted to make everything feel as normal as I possibly could.
Only, it took a few weeks for our reality to hit me.
I’ll have to become Vince’s carer, I realised.
He couldn’t dress himself, let alone fully control his limbs.
So, I helped him get dressed and washed every day.
One evening, I hoisted Vince onto his shower seat.
Lathering up the soap, I didn’t realise how slippery the seat had now become.
And suddenly, Vince slid off. Stuck in the tub, I wasn’t strong enough to lift him.
‘I’ll ring an ambulance!’ I cried.
As we waited three hours for one, I couldn’t
