Determined True-life
I said no to sex – but nothing would stop me having a baby...
Verity Jones, 36, Ramsgate
Rolling over in bed, I patted the space next to me. Phew, empty.
For once, I’d not brought a random person back from the club the night before.
It was June 2011 and, aged 25, every weekend was the same routine.
I’d clock off from my care home job on a Friday night and head into town.
But waking each Saturday with a sore head, hazy memory and a stranger in my bed was wearing thin.
I loved sex, but hated the empty feeling the morning after.
Dragging myself into the bathroom, I realised how relieved I felt to be alone.
Enough’s enough, I told my reflection.
No more drunken nights out, no more one-night stands.
Celibacy is the way forward, I vowed to myself.
It was time to focus on me – perhaps wait until someone special came along.
Besides, I was about to start a new job in a care home closer to my home, mainly doing night shifts – so no time for partying.
That’ll keep me out of trouble, I chucked to myself.
Some of my mates couldn’t understand my decision though.
Come out, Verity! an old word friend texted, nagging me to join a lairy night out.
Don’t fancy it, sorry, I tapped back.
Soon, they stopped inviting me. While I did miss the parties when I saw photos of my mates online, I stopped missing the casual sex.
One night in October 2011 though, after I’d been celibate for four months, I had a vivid dream that I was pregnant.
Just my imagination, I whispered, waking up.
Only, the dream stayed with me, playing on my mind all day.
I realised I did want a baby – but I’d sworn off sex.
In my dream, I’d loved being pregnant – I wanted to experience that for real, so I ruled out adoption.
And I wasn’t breaking my celibacy vow.
So I started researching sperm donors instead.
‘It’s not as weird as it sounds,’ I explained to my mum, then 55. ‘I get to choose the donor myself.’
‘I’m not sure...’ she said, eyebrows raised.
But she promised to support my decision anyway.
I decided that I’d look online instead of going to a traditional sperm bank, which was too much money for me.
Scouring profiles for sperm donors, not everyone had good intentions though.
I’ll only help you the natural way, one creep said.
I just clicked delete.
Been there, done that!
So I stuck to verified online sperm donor websites with monthly subscription fees – and I found a suitable bloke.
He had a degree, a clean bill of health and came across as friendly and of sound mind in his emails.
I didn’t ask why he was a sperm donor
