Celebrity agony aunt Helen Lederer gives you her heartfelt advice every week
As someone who has been a social worker, mother, wife and divorcee I have been around the block a few times. I’m humbled to answer your questions and feel that if a problem can be shared it can be halved – at the very least.
The important thing is to recognise we are all different and that no one likes to be left out
We all take technology for granted these days and it is easy to expect everyone to be a user. I confess that I am not at all knowledgeable about the technical side of using various platforms!
According to the Office For National Statistics, 20% of people in the UK do not use the internet. This statistic is bound to change but does show that 1 in 5 of us are not tech savvy. There are many reasons for this, but it might be reasonable to suggest that age and access may be two of them. I suspect that your friend, who left the group when you were all using technology, could be one of the non-users! And while this is not necessarily unusual, your friend may have been triggered into a challenging emotional state ie feeling not as clever as others, unworthy, defensive etc. Try not to feel responsible for her abrupt departure – after all, no one was intentionally leaving her out. Rather, see this as an opportunity to understand more about where you are all at with technology and how to broach the subject in the future.
We can all be individuals: we can engage with the world in different ways and remain supportive and respectful of each other. In this instance, your friend will have felt left out and not included in the group. But there is an opportunity to address this subject with more knowledge. My suggestion is that one of you get in touch with her outside work. Say that you noticed her slipping away when you were sharing technology. Mention that you understand that tech is not everyone’s “thing”
