Stuck for what to do? Write to Pick Me Up! for some good advice
Pallvi Davé is an experienced psychotherapist and accredited member of the BACP. Working in her London based practice, Pallvi specialises in helping people with arange of issues related to the home and the workplace – including anxiety, depression, relationships, self-worth and self-image, as well as trauma related matters.
To find out about Pallvi and for guidance please visit: counsellingatwork.org
Friendor foe?
QMy friend is always too busy to see me –there’s always an excuse. And equally she doesn’t go out of her way to arrange to meet me. At this point, I don’t want to make an effort anymore. How can I cut off the friendship?
ASometimes when we feel hurt it can look and feel like anger. It sounds as if you might like to give your friend a taste of her own medicine at this time.
If it feels to you that this friendship is too one-sided and it is leaving you feeling hurt, try and focus on other friendships which feel more fulfilling and spending time on things that help improve your sense of wellbeing and contentedness instead.
Remember not all friendships are equal. Could it be that this friendship is seen differently by each of you?
Sometimes trying to see things from the other’s perspective can help us understand what might be going on and help us make better choices about how we feel about it and behave towards it, too.
Can I please grieve in peace?
QMy brother’s children are causing me a huge amount of stress as they are harassing me over his will. I want to do what is right for everyone and be able to grieve, too. How can I ask them to let me sort this out alone?
AI can imagine this is a difficult time for you and your family. You might want to make them aware that you are grieving, too.
It is more often the case that we know our siblings longer than any other relationship, and it is with our siblings that we have a unique shared childhood and history. So this loss can feel very profound.
Let them know you intend to deal with the issue of your brother’s will with them in mind and will be in touch with them.
At the present time it feels like you need their understanding more as you take some space to gather your thoughts and make sense of your own feelings.
