Don’t allow yourself to be silenced by self-doubt –Caroline Butterwick discovers how to feel the fear and flourish…
Many of us have been there: handsshaking andheart fluttering as we prepare to give apresentation at work,oreyeingthe nearest exit as we’rehanded the microphonetodeliver aspeech at awedding. Standing in frontofaroomfullofpeople can be daunting –tobeable to do so confidently isavaluable and enviable skill.Sohow canwestoppublic speaking sendingshivers downour spine, andget to thepoint wherewe not only cope with it, butenjoy it?
‘The fear of judgment is hardwired into us,’ performancecoach Zoé Carroll tellsme.‘Lotsof people lookingatusand beingthe centre of attention makes us feel really vulnerable,and ourneurological andphysiological response is that we want to runaway. It canactivate our flight orfight response,’ she adds.
It’s then that we experience signs that we’renervous:our breathingspeedsup, ourheart races, we startsweating, or we have apanicky feelinginour chest. Carrollexplains: ‘Ontop of theoriginal fear around being judged, we’re then worried about things such as, “What if my mouth goes dry?” or “What if I forget what I was going to say?” We start fretting about the responses of that f light response – it’s a double whammy.’
If, like me, you find public speaking a little bit terrifying, why bother then? ‘The main benefit is being able to have your voice heard and your opinions listened to,’ says Carroll. ‘Being able to speak your truth has real power.’ If you’ve ever sat awkwardly in a meeting, words building inside you but feeling nervous about contributing, you’ll likely know how frustrating it can feel to not say the things you want to.
Carroll emphasises that remembering why you’re speaking publicly can help you recognise its importance, and frame it more positively. If you’re giving a wedding speech, you want the happy couple to know you care. If you’re presenting findings from a project you’ve worked hard on, it’s an opportunity to highlight all you’ve done. There’s also the advantage of getting yourself seen, particularly at work. Giving presentations or speaking up in meetings can demonstrate your knowledge and passion. For me as a writer, leading community writing workshops is something that brings me joy – I love sharing my passion with others, but I can feel nervous beforehand. Reminding myself why I’m there can help ease those ner ves. Reframing how we see public speaking can help, too. ‘Choose to interpret the increase of adrenaline and that feeling in your body as a good thing,’ says Carroll. ‘I get people to think: “This is me preparing to perform. This is the adrenaline that’s going to help me through this performance.” Rather than reading that feeling
