The honest truth
Anne Williams* shares the heartbreak of betrayal and rejection by the man she loved deeply
It should have been the perfect summer day as we enjoyed the sunshine in the conservatory, but something wasn’t right. My husband, Nick*, had gone quiet and was staring out across the garden. I tried to get him to open up. Was he ill? Worried about work? Finally he turned to face me and said he didn’t love me any more. I felt numb, as if the ground beneath my feet had fallen away. It was 2017, I was 58 and we had been married for 27 years. He was my world, my best friend and a fabulous father to our sons. He was also the man I had forgiven for a series of affairs, but this time he was leaving me for good.
We met when I was 29 and I fell headlong in love. Nick moved into my tiny rented cottage, and we married two years later. His young son, Jeremy*, often stayed with us, and when our son, Peter*, was born in 1991, our family was complete. I worked part time as a teacher while Nick built up our business. After years of scrimping, we could afford nice cars and clothes, foreign holidays and our own home. We were so happy.
But there was a cloud over my happiness. When Peter was five, Nick started ‘working late’ and his phone bill had lots of calls to one number. I turned into Miss Marple and the clues only pointed one way. When I confronted him, he admitted seeing a woman at work. I wanted to know more about her – why he’d wanted her and not me – but he wouldn’t discuss it and got angry if I raised it. He promised to end it and I forgave him – Ididn’t want our family to fall apart.
Only, when Peter was 12, the nightmare started again. He met this one on a work trip. I found her number on the flip side of a business card. Another showdown, another patch on our marriage. I thought I must be doing something wrong. I tried to be more like his other women, turning up the flattery, making an effort to look nice, having sex even if I was tired. If it had happened to a friend, I’d have warned her he’d stray again – but love is incredibly powerful.
It took a couple of years to trust him again. It felt as if every TV drama had an affair in it, and all the midlife couples out and about seemed to be holding hands and happy, while I was wondering when he’d stray again. After seven years, I thought Nick had stopped philandering. I was wrong – and this time he was leaving, so I couldn’t hide a third affair from our son. He was 19 and needed to know why the man we adored was going off to live with a girlfriend from his teenage days.
Nine months later, in 2012, he was back. Despite everything, I still loved him and wanted nothing more than to have him home. But it wasn’t that simple; the fallout from his affairs tore our family ap
