Mum-of-two Anita Naik has been an agony aunt for 31 years
He won’t marry me Q I’ve been with my partner for 15 years, and we love each other. We live together, have two dogs and are close to his sons. The problem is, he won’t marry me. It’s something I want, but when I ask him, he says he can’t. His parents split up when he was a kid, and he was married in his late 20s, and that also ended. I understand this hurt him, but surely I should matter more than his past?
A Divorce is hard on everyone and being part of a failed marriage when he was a child and again as an adult will have had a lasting impact on your partner. An impact that he’s possibly afraid will repeat itself and one that probably still hurts him emotionally. As much as you want to get married, you need to step away from this desire for a while and talk to him about his feelings about marriage. It’s only by listening to why he’s against it that you will be able to truly understand his reluctance.
I HAVE LEFT MY VIOLENT PARTNER
Q With the help of my family, I’ve left my home and my violent partner. He’s now started counselling and sends me messages saying he’s sorry, how much he loves me, wants me back and that he’s changed. Should I believe him?
A When facing consequences, abusers often plead for another chance, beg for forgiveness and promise to change. Their goal is to keep you
