You can’t see into the future. But with a few simple tools, you can futureproof your relationship to give it the best possible chance of succeeding. Here’s how to set your eyes on the prize
When you hear that a seemingly rock-solid couple is going to counselling, it’s all too easy to assume the worst. Couples therapy is often seen as the beginning of the end, which might have something to do with the fact that couples wait nearly three years after problems start before they see a counsellor, according to a study published in the Journal Of Marital And Family Therapy. ‘Often, people come through my door when they’re in the state of crisis and they just can’t take it any more,’ says Melissa Fulgieri, author of Couples Therapy Activity Book. ‘Part of my work is helping them not be so crisis-driven.’ Like going to the doctor for an annual check-up, as opposed to when something is wrong. Add to that the persistent stigma surrounding couples therapy and a collective long-held view of therapy solely as a treatment, and it’s no wonder that couples counselling is still seen as an act of desperation rather than an act of love, according to Rachel Wright, a marriage and family therapist specialising in sex therapy.
Many couples resist acknowledging minor relationship obstacles as being worthy of professional help because they worry that naming even the smallest struggle will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. ‘I hear couples say all the time, “We want to come to counselling, but we don’t have any huge problems.” That doesn’t mean you don’t have any problems,’ says Fulgieri. ‘You’re two human beings trying to build a life to
