CONFIDENCE
Be guided by your desires not by your fears,
Earlier this year, I was offered the chance to teach meditation to a group of women. While I’ve meditated for 20 years, I’m not trained to teach it. Occasionally, I’d weave five minutes of it into one of the yoga classes I host. But the prospect of a regular, hour-long class terrified me.
My friend, Ayala, a very experienced meditation teacher, had been the group’s first choice. She was too busy, so recommended me. The women wanted a trial session first. ‘How on earth will you make it through a whole hour? You’ll probably be a huge disappointment, especially compared to Ayala. I bet they won’t ask you back.’ These were among the thoughts streaming through my mind. I shared them with Ayala. ‘I think you’re ready,’ she said. ‘But, more importantly, do you want to do this?’ I thought hard about it. I love how meditation connects me to a quiet, spacious place deep within, away from the noise of my thoughts and Be guided by your desires not by your fears, writes Annabel Chown of day-to-day life. Behind my doubts lay a longing to guide others to that place. I ask executive coach Lisa Quinn why this critical voice, warning us of all that can go wrong, arises when we consider stepping into unfamiliar territory. ‘Our brain is wired for survival,’ she explains. ‘Historically, when we were more at risk of mortal danger, say from a predator, it was constantly scanning the environment for threats. Today, it can still register anything new as a threat. So when this voice tells you all the reasons not to try something new, it’s just our brain trying to protect us. But much of what it says isn’t true. ‘What we can do,’ she continues, ‘is change our response to it.’ She suggests we start by noticing it. ‘Not just its chatter, but also how it feels in your body. Fear always has a physical response, too. Is it a clenching of your jaw or hands? A tightening in your belly? By breathing into the feelings and inviting them to soften, you can help quieten that voice.’
Quinn also suggests creating some distance between it and you. ‘Tell yourself it’s not you, but a voice that’s speaking to you. And name it – as your critic, or even give it a specific name. Speak to it calmly when it kicks off. You could say, thanks for showing up and sharing your concerns, but I’ve got this. I’m going to be okay.’
I prepared well for the trial session. Even so, as I approached the house where it was taking place, my heart was beating fast. I wanted to turn around and run back to the comfort of my own home. Tara Mohr, an expert in women’s leadership and wellbeing, describes two different types of fear, drawing on the Old Testament Hebrew words Pachad and Yirah.
Pachad is the projected fear that our inner critic is so well-ver
