BY ANGELA HAUPT
ONE OF THE EASIEST THINGS ABOUT experiencing anger is finding a colorful word or phrase to describe it: Steaming. Fuming and fired up and furious. Pissed off. Ready to flip your lid. Livid.
Such an extensive lexicon speaks to the universality of anger, one of the most primitive emotions humans experience—and in some ways one of the most complex. “People don’t like to feel angry, and most people who do feel angry want to get rid of the anger,” says Brad Bushman, a professor of communication at the Ohio State University who studies human aggression and violence. “But it also makes people feel powerful.”
That can be channeled into a positive force; consider that anger has fueled many social and political movements, from women’s suffrage to Black Lives Matter. The feeling can signal that something we’re experiencing or observing is misaligned with our values or how we want others to treat us or our fellow humans.
Unfortunately, experts say, most of us don’t know how to deal with anger in a healthy way. “It’s the negative emotion that people have the most difficulty regulating,” Bushman notes. “This isn’t something that comes easy. That’s why courts send people to anger-management classes—if it werem easy, they wouldn’t have to do that.”
Anger drives numerous societal problems, Bushman says: It’s one of the largest risk factors for aggressive and violent behavior, including road-rage incidents, domestic violence, and murders. Plus, it can lead to short- and long-term health effects, including heightened inflammation and risk of chronic illness; reduced lung function; chronic pain; digestive problems; and increased depression and anxiety. Research suggests that in the two hours after feeling angry, a person’s risk of a heart attack jumps nearly fivefold.
We asked Bushman and other experts to share the healthiest ways to cope with—and express—anger.
1. Focus on relaxing instead of venting
When we’re angry, Bushman explains, we’re highly aroused. Venting or otherwise blowing off steam, even by going for a run, keeps arousal high and is “like using gasoline to put out a fire—it feeds the flame.” Instead, you should reduce that arousal level. Bushman suggests turning down the heat by practicing deep breathing, meditating, or doing yoga or progressive muscle relaxation.
2. Take a time-out
Tony Fiore has been teaching anger management—with a focus on repairing relationships—for decades. One of the first tips he imparts to his clients: It’s OK to get away from each other. “If you prevent somebody from leaving, they can
