ANXIETY
Engage in some gentle self-reflection to cultivate a healthier mindset and free yourself from the fear of embracing a life of joy, writes Yasmina Floyer
Sure, the sighting of a lone magpie has never been a comfort to me, and, as far as I’m concerned, black cats always have right of way, but I’d never considered myself to be particularly superstitious. On closer inspection, however, I’ve realised this not to be the case. Living with anxiety – and its sidekick panic – means that, at times of stress, it can take a lot for me to dial down my internal threat monitor. An ache in my chest from a workout class quickly escalates into me believing I have a heart condition. With effort, I can get back to a place where an ache is simply an ache, but I realised recently that I don’t actually know how to enjoy uncomplicated happiness – I need to think there is something a little bit wrong all of the time. Feeling too happy makes me scared, somehow, as though happiness can be jinxed.
I recently connected with Dr Kirren Shnack, clinical psychologist and author of Ten Times Calmer (Bluebird, £16.99, out 14 September), in which she shares her top ten techniques for dealing with anxiety, based on the latest scientific evidence, clinical guidance, and her professional experience. She also shares insights gained from working with patients who grapple with the belief that they may ‘jinx’ their happiness. She tells me, ‘The expression “It’s too good to be true” perfectly captures the fear of jinxing. I’ve witnessed this phenomenon occur during moments of peak happiness, such as buying a house or landing a dream job. This type of anxiety can prevent people from fully enjoying positive experiences. The belief in jinxing yourself might make you constantly worry and imagine the worst things happening if you express positivity, as if it’s tempting fate. This can be driven by a need for perfection, and a desire to avoid disappointment.’
It’s true: I often feel as though I need the grubby fingerprints of anxiety to mar my happiness in order for me to feel safe about it. Without the constant base note of anxiety thrumming in my veins, what is there to protect me from something bad happening? ‘This mindset can keep people stuck and unfulfilled, too scared to take chances or embrace the good things that come their way,’ Dr Shnack warns. ‘But understanding the fear of jinxing can provide valuable insights into the ways we navigate our lives and seek to protect ourselves from perceived negative consequences.’
I may not salute a magpie, but when my anxiety gets particularly bad, I find myself looking over my shoulder for the punchline, and fall into rituals, not unlike superstitions, that give me a semblance of control. Want a good start to the day? Tap the corners of the dresser. Again. And again. Don’t use that coffee pod, use t
